Ronda Rousey says she briefly contemplated suicide immediately after Holly Holm loss at UFC 193

By Jamie Penick, MMATorch Editor-in-Chief

Ronda Rousey (photo credit Jason da Silva © USA Today Sports)

Ronda Rousey is set to appear on this afternoon’s new episode of The Ellen Degeneres Show, and a clip has been posted of the interview in which the former UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champ opens up in one of the more vulnerable conversations she’s ever had publicly.

In the clip posted online, Rousey said she hit the lowest of lows in the immediate aftermath of her loss to Holly Holm at UFC 193, until she saw boyfriend Travis Browne backstage.

“Honestly, my thought, I was in the medical room and I was down in the corner, and I was like, ‘What am I anymore if I’m not this?'” Rousey said through tears. “I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself, and that exact second I’m like, ‘I’m nothing. What do I do anymore?’ and ‘No one gives a s*** about me anymore without this.’

“To be honest, I looked up and I saw my man, Travis, was standing there. And I looked up at him and I was like, ‘I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.’ Really, that was it. I haven’t told anybody that. I think I only told him. But that’s what I was thinking. I was meant to have him when I was at my lowest, for sure. I don’t think I would have made it without him.”

While she hit that moment of extreme sadness immediately after, Rousey said she found her way forward after being able to process it further.

“I did a lot of thinking, like ‘Why did this happen? Why did this have to happen like this?’ I do believe every worst thing that happened in my life resulted in the absolute best things, and I’m trying to think ‘what is the reason of all of this?’ I’m thinking of what my actual purpose is, and maybe winning all the time isn’t what’s best for everybody. I felt like maybe my role is – everyone has their moment of picking themselves up off the floor, and I’d gone through several of mine but no one had actually seen me go through it. Maybe I just had to be that example of picking myself up off the floor for everyone, maybe that’s what I’m meant for.

“I really do believe I’m still undefeated, because being defeated is a choice. Everybody has losses in their life, but I choose to always be undefeated.”

Watch the segment posted online below:

Penick’s Analysis: It’s a humanizing interview, no question, and that reaction itself in the moments after what happened in Melbourne can’t be that surprising. Many at some point or another in their lives may find their mind taking them to dark places, and in devastating times it’s hard for many to find their way out from there. Rousey’s seemed to turn a corner and has reemerged in 2016 with her own brand of confidence once again, and whether she manages to avenge that loss or not, it’s good to see her get her spirits back up after such a low point. She may take some criticism again because of her relationship with Travis Browne, but her personal life is her personal life, and if he helped her through that time to that extent, he was a significant benefit to her.

[Photo (c) Jason da Silva via USA Today Sports]

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