UFC FIGHT NIGHT 67 LIVE RESULTS: Hansen’s event report for “Condit vs. Alves” card in Brazil

By Rich Hansen MMATorch Columnist

Carlos Condit (artist Grant Gould © PWTorch)

MAY 30, 2015

Carlos Condit returns to the Octagon tonight, and that should be reason enough to tune in to the UFC Fight Night 67 card on Fox Sports 1. We’ll have quick results and commentary on the Fox Sports 1 prelim card right here tonight, along with a live round by round report on the night’s main card. Follow along with us right here tonight as things kick off around 7PM ET on UFC Fight Pass!

=====Preliminary Card Quick Results (Fight Pass)=====

-Tom Breese def. Luiz Dutra by TKO (punches) at 4:58 of round one.

-Juliana Lima defeats Ericka Almeida by unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-25)

=====Preliminary Card Quick Results (Fox Sports 1)=====

-Mirsad Bektic def. Lucas Martins by TKO (punches at 0:30 of round one.

Note: Mirsad Bektic was Lucas Martins’ Spooky Mormon Hell Dream, mauling him on the mat for the entirety of the fight. Bektic dropped him with a right had early in the first, pounded him on the mat for the rest of the first, and ended it in the second.

– And in Hockey news, 1-0 Blackhawks, less than 2 minutes in.

-Nicolas Dalby def. Elizeu Zaleski dos Santos by split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

Note: A mildly entertaining striking fight between two UFC newcomers. The difference, however, was whenever Dalby got hit too much for comfort he was able to plant dos Santos on his back. Not the worst fight, considering the card placement.

– And in Hockey news, 2-0 Blackhawks. Toews has em both.

-Jussier Formiga def. Wilson Reis by unanimous decision (29-28 x3)

Note: Formiga was clearly superior in every facet of the fight. He was the better striker, and more dangerous on the canvas. Reis had his moments, but this fight was so dull that you can’t possibly doubt the decision to bury this on the prelims. Reis knew he was down 2 ounds to none, so he spent the entire third period clinching along the cage. From Formiga’s point of view, despite having lost to John Dodson in 2012, the chance was there to earn a title shot. That chance is gone, because the fight was so lackluster. Formiga dominated, don’t get me wrong. But it wasn’t entertaining, and it won’t sell PPVs.

And I can’t imagine giving round 2 to Reis.

– And in Hockey news, 3-0 Blackhawks. Be afraid Tampa. Be afraid.

-Rony Jason def. Damon Jackson by submission (triangle choke) at 3:31 of round one.

Note: Jackson got Jason down early and was in total control until Jason pulled off the second best sweep of the year (behind only the sweep the Blackhawks hit on the Wild). Jason swept himself into a triangle and armbar position. Beautiful stuff. I mean, just fantastic. And now I have 20 minutes to watch the Blackhawks coronation.

– An in Hockey news, 4-0 Blackhawks (that was inevitable. 1 goal during each of the 4 fights). Hossa!

=====Fox Sports 1 Main Card=====


– Don’t be confused, as there are 1, 2, 3 Oliveira’s on tonight’s main card.

ROUND ONE: Wendell Oliveir’s arms are bigger than my thighs. Yikes. Till comes out with multiple low kicks. Oliveira shoots and manages to get Till along the cage. Both guys working hard here. Oliveira can’t get him down, so he’s working knees to the body and right thigh of Till. Till can’t stay here. Oliveira’s busy enough where Herb Dean would split them after 45 seconds. The crowd is booing, despite the position being beneficial for their countryman. Till reverses and separates. Back to the middle, with 2:30 left in the round. Till goes high with a head kick, but Oliveira got his hand up. The fight has hit a lull. The only activity being Oliveira charging in and missing with three wild punches. Till throws his first jab, and follows up with an outside leg kick. Oliveira throws one of his own, and Till goes back to the well. nice left hand from Till. 10-9 Till in a very tentative first round. Judges might give it to Oliveira for all the missed punches and control on the fence.

ROUND TWO: Oliveira charges in recklessly, but Till ducks under and gets a bodylock. He gets a takedown after a brief struggle, but Oliveira pops back up. Till lands a nice two punch combo, which briefly paused Oliveira. Till gets a takedown, and he’s got half-guard. Till lands a short elbow to the head. And another one that Oliveira will remember tomorrow. Oliveira just took a series of left elbows to the face and he’s been slept. Till with the legit KO on the ground with elbows!

WINNER: Darren Till by KO at 1:37 or round two.

STAR RATING: (**+) The fight wasn’t that good, but the finish was outstanding, and the Blackhawks are up 4-1 with 13 minutes left for a trip to the Stanley Cup finals. The UFC matchmakers are no longer giving the Brazilian fighters cupcake fights, and the crowds are making their apathy known. They’re quieter than the Xcel Energy Center after the Blackhawks finished off their sweep of the Wild. Till has a bright future. He also gave his interview in both English and Portuguese. That should open up some sponsorship opportunities for him. Oh. Wait. Never mind.


– Buffer introduced Trinaldo as THE three-time Brasilia kickboxing champion. Is that a compliment?

ROUND ONE: Both fighters are southpaws. Early feeling-out process, as neither fighter’s skin touches the other fighters skin for thirty seconds. Jabs are being thrown now, and sporadically being landed, too. Leg kick from Trinaldo. And another one. Trinaldo is really starting to throw the right hand jab. He’s opening up the body of Parke, and Parke’s not liking it. Takedown from Parke. Yep.

5-2 Blackhawks!!!!!!! SEABROOK!!!!!

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, Trinaldo’s trying to get up, and he’s up for like half a second before Parke throws him back down. Trinaldo bounces back up, but he’s got Parke on his back now. Parke working hard to get Trinaldo back down again, and he gets it. Nice judo put in play there. Trinaldo’s working to get back up, and he’s in a position where Parke won’t be able to keep him down. Parke realizes this and spins to the back. Trinaldo gets free. A couple good punches from Trinaldo land on Parke’s noggin, and the horn sounds. 10-9 Trinaldo I’m going to be in the minority on this one, but Parke didn’t land anything. Trinaldo did.

ROUND TWO: Parke is -575 in live betting, so clearly the whole world saw something I didn’t. Trinaldo gets Parke on the fence a minute into the first round, and lands a few nice strikes from the clinch. Parke goes for a leg trip, but Trinaldo stayed upright and disengaged. Back to the middle, and Trinaldo lands another nice left. Trinaldo lands clean to the body. Nice knee from Parke. Simultaneous jabs land. Not quite the Condit/Hardy finish or anything. Trinaldo is turning up the intensity and the pressure, and Parke looks confused. Elbow to the head from the Brazilian. Parke reaches for a single leg, but that was a weak effort. Trinaldo constantly walking forward, Parke going straight back. Trinaldo with a hard left hand. Uppercut to the body from Trinaldo. Parke’s right thigh is turning red form the leg kicks to the point where he’s changed stance. Parke looks out of sorts. He never anticipated being lit up on the feet by Trinaldo. 10-9 Trinaldo Easy round to score.

ROUND THREE: Trinaldo enters the round at -115. How’s that for a swing? And might I just say that this crowd is so dead that I almost think it’s at the Saitama Super Arena. Parke is coming forward this round, but is walking into jabs. He gets through the jab and takes Trinaldo down. Remember, this is probably 19-19 on the cards, but it is in Brazil, so it’s probably 20-16 Trinaldo. Got that? Good. Side control along the cage for Parke. Trinaldo rolls and Parke gets the back. He’s got one hook in. Parke has three mintues to get the submission so as to avoid the cards. Trinaldo’s flat on his belly, but Parke is nowhere near the jaw yet. The cage is getting in Parke’s way right now. Trinaldo is up to knees and elbows now, which might make it easier for Parke to get to the neck of Trinaldo. Parke’s being very patient, not throwing many strikes from this position. Trinaldo’s trying to sit up, while still carrying Parke on his back. Parke almost flew off over Trinaldo’s head, but he repositioned himself. Not very well, though, as Trinaldo escaped. Parke drops down and goes for another takedown, and gets it after a brief struggle. It all comes down to round one. 10-9 Parke. 29-28 Trinaldo But I fully expect Parke to get the decision.

WINNER: Francisco Trinaldo by split decision (28-29 29-28, 29-28)

STAR RATING: (**) Meh. Nothing memorable, but hopefully this will teach Parke that he’s not going to blitz through the top-10 any decade soon.


– Star rating prediction: If it goes beyond eight seconds, negative 5 stars.

ROUND ONE: Two southpaws here. Both fighers are trading shots in brief flurries. Barroso charges in and puts Jimmo against the fence. A minute later, he still has Jimmo against the fence. You didn’t miss much (see previous bullet point). Jimmo stuffs a single leg, but they’re still on the fence. Two minutes remain. Oy. OK, Herb Dean, you win. Break up all wall and stall after 9 seconds. Foot stomp! A couple knees to the thighs from Barroso. Barrosohas constantly tried to leg trip Jimmo, but it’s not working. Separation from the referee with 45 second left. Upon the restart, Jimmo partially hits a head kick. Lunging jab from Jimmo. Almost an uppercut jab, really. Weird punch. 10-9 Barroso Best round of the year.

– You’re making things up again, Arnold…

ROUND TWO: Jimmo allows Barrosoto put him up against the fence again. Lovely. And I don’t even have a Blackhawks game to flip to now, BECAUSE THEY WON AND ARE GOING TO THE STANLEY CUP FINALS!!! KNEEL BEFORE SAAD, TAMPA!!! Oh, sorry. Referee just broke up the fighters. Good timing. Weak leg kick from Barroso. Both fighters are slowing down now. Which is funny, in such a slow fight. Jimmo took a kick to the crotch region, and the fight has been paused, thereby upping the excitement level of this fight. The doctor has been called in, at Jimmo’s request. This might end the fight, mercifully. That was the most direct crotch kick I’ve seen in a long time. At the 2:30 mark of the 5 minute break Jimmo got to his feet, and then dropped back down to his knees. He’s not in a good place. But the fight will continue, after the full five minutes. Barroso, counter-intuitively, comes back to the fight very tentatively. Barrosoeventually lands a right hand that stuns Jimmo, but Barrosodidn’t capitalize. Nice right hand from Jimmo, but Barroso manages to walk through and get Jimmo on the fence. They’re pulled apart almost immediately. 20-18 Barosso Worse round than the first. Jimmo almost lost by Testicle Knock Out, so I guess it gets a pass (credit @GeoffGallo)

ROUND THREE: Barroso is keeping his hands really low, and Jimmo takes advantage by bouncing on his toes and…. yeah. 90 seconds remain. They’re both gassed, and both think they have 25 rounds left. Barroso lands a right and puts Jimmo on the fence. Jimmo REALLY wants to avoid the Reebok deal. If the UFC wants to punish Jimmo for his Reebok comments, they’ll not release him and force him to take the Reebok pittance. 30-27 Barroso

WINNER: Francimar Barroso by unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)

STAR RATING: (-*****) A new worst fight of the year. Possibly ever. I hated everything about this fight. Sorry. My bad. I called it a fight. But what in the hell else can I call it? It wasn’t an athletic competition. It wasn’t athletic, and it wasn’t competitive. This was just disgusting. I feel like I’m stuck in a Spooky Mormon Hell Dream.

– Did I mention that the Blackhawks are in the Stanley Cup Finals? HASA DIGA ANAHEIM!


ROUND ONE: Noons sprints out of his corner to take the middle of the cage. Noons knows he needs Oliveira to be on his heels, or he’ll be on a gurney. Oliveira gets on Noon’s back, trying to take him down. Not an easy task, though. Oliveira muscles Noons off of his feet and throws him, but noons pops back up. He did it again! But Noons popped back up. Again. This is pure muscle on Oliveira’s part. Another one, and noons stays down this time. Oliveira got his back, and quickly got the rear naked choke. That was lightning quick! Holy crap!

WINNER: Alex Oliveira by submission (rear naked choke) at 2:51 of round one.

STAR RATING: (**+) No shock that Oliveira submitted Noons, but the speed he demonstrated to get his arms around Noons’ neck was impressive. Bright future. As to Noons, at least he’ll be able to keep all of his sponsors. but don’t worry, KJ; tomorrow is a latter day.

– Speaking of people who will be able to keep all of his sponsors, THE BLACKHAWKS ARE GOING TO RAISE THE STANLEY CUP ON JUNE 15! HAWKS IN SIX!


ROUND ONE: Great fight coming. Lentz immediately gets inside on Oliveira and muscles him to the cage. This is where he wants to be, but if he takes him down, he doesn’t want nothing to do with the guard of do Bronx. Oliveira reverses and looks for a standing choke, but Lentz smoothly excapes and gets Oliveira down. Lentz pops back to his feet. Oliveira begs Lentz to dive into the guard. Lentz plays around outside the guard, but eventually lets him stand. They engage, and Oliveira takes down Lentz. He’s looking for a guillotine, but it’s not there. Oliveira with a knee to Lentz as they separate. Nice. Lentz comes in, and heats a big knee. Both guys are landing at will. Oliveira should try moving his head. I’ve heard that’s important. Nice right to the skull form Lentz. Lentz landing at will to the head, but Oliveira’s landing knees when Lentz comes in tight. Lentz gets Oliveira down for half a second. Oliveira is consistently pawing his left eye. He may have gotten poked. I can’t keep up with all the strikes! Left knee. Right body kick. another knee. and an elbow. All from Oliveira. Knee to the liver and Lentz crumples. Oliveira pounces on the downed Lentz, but Lentz slowed the momentum by looking for a heel hook. Oliveira took a couple seconds to get out of that and he’s on top. Oliveira stands and lands a knee to the ribs. Oliveira gets on top and gets mount. That’s how the round ends. holy crap! 10-9 Oliveira WHAT A ROUND!

ROUND TWO: Touch of gloves to start the round. they’re firing from the get go! Lentz finally pushes Oliveira against the fence, looking for a trip takedown, and he gets it. Oliveira immediately tries to get Lentz to guard, and he succeeds. Lentz is stayign tight, trying to get to half-guard. He got his right leg out. Half-guard. He’s staying heavy, and passes to side-control. Good grinding technique from the wrestler. However he stopped being heavy and Oliveira got up. Lentz stayed on him and slammed Oliveira back down, face first. Ouch! Two upkicks from Oliveira, and Oliveira sweeps to get on top. Lentz is looking for a guillotine, but he knows it won’t be there. Lentz stays on the neck with one and and rolls to top position. Half-guard. Nice elbows from Lentz. Well, evile more than nice, ya dig? Lentz sits back looking for a heel hook. Lentz is punching away whenever Oliveira sits upright, but he needs to be careful. Lentz powers his legs out and gets to full mount. Oliveira is using the fence to try to get to sitting, but Lentz powers him down to all fours. Oliveira stands and has Lentz on him. Oliveira struggles with Oliveira, but gets him back down to end the round. 19-19

ROUND THREE: One final touch of gloves. Lentz charges in and eats a knee. Lentz is sloopy on his feet, as he looks super-tired. Big knee to the body from the Brazilian, but Lentz eats it and puts Oliveira on the mat. Oliveira pops back up, grabs a guillotine, pulls guard, gets mount, and this might be it. Yep! Lentz tapped! Holy crap! What a great fight!

WINNER: Charles Oliveira by submission (mounted guillotine choke) at 1:10 of round three.

STAR RATING: (****) Not the fight of the year, but it should end the year in the top-ten. That was just fantastic. The second round dragged a little, but that’s a function of Lentz doing what he needs to do. Oliveira has a ceiling, sure, but it might be a higher ceiling than Ricardo Lamas, which would be a great follow-up fight for Oliveira.


– Carlos Condit is back. And he has taught us all what real Manning Up is about!

ROUND ONE: High kick from Condit. Alves lands one cleaner. Leg kick from Condit. Alves is trying hard to cut Condit off. Per Jon Anik on the broadcast, 2015 is the first year Alves has fought twice since 2011. Front kick towards the face of Alves from Condit. Alves backed off fast when he saw that coming. Alves is very patient, looking for Condit to get too close before making his move. Both fighters are having success with their leg kicks. Charging lead elbow from Condit. Alves is taking the leg kicks when they’re there. Simultaneous leg kicks land, but neither fighter goes down off-balance. Alves lands another chopping kick. Inside of Condit’s left knee is very red. Body kick from Alves. Condit punches his way inside, but nothing comes from it. Alves kicks that left knee yet again. Condit’s got the volume, Alves has the power. Tight round, but 10-9 Alves

ROUND TWO: Alves lands a leg kick that spins Condit all the way around. Condit comes in side and lands a quick combo. Left hands from Condit drops Alves. Condit pounces and he’s looking to finish. He’s got mount. Alves turtles, and Condit takes his back. Condit is pounding away. There’s blood everywhere. Alves has a busted nose. Elbows. Alves’ face is ready for the cover of Fangoria. Knee to the body from Condit. Alves gets back up, and has a standing guillotine! Holy crap. They disengage. There’s a pint of alves’ blood on Condit’s body. Freak show! How did Alves survive? Big right hand and some elbows from Condit. Left to the body from Condit and a takedown. Condit is on his back, not giving Alves a moment of time. He’s under the chin now! Mount for condit. Alves is getting battered. This is as brutal as I’ve seen in a long time. Condit has mount, pounding away with right hands and elbows. He’s keeping his hips heavy in everything he does. But Alves gets back up again! Unreal. Alves is still dnagerous, just ask Jordan Mein. Leg kick from Alves. Condit with standing elbows, and Alves with a right hand. 10-8 Condit. 19-18 Condit That was bloody, brutal deluxe, and beautiful. The strikes that broke Alves’ nose was an elbow.

– The doctor took one look at Alves’ nose, threw up, and stopped the fight.

– You’re making things up again, Arnold…

– The fight has been stopped, but there was no vomit. No involuntary personal protein spills.

WINNER: Carlos Condit by TKO (attempted murder) at 5:00 of round 2.

STAR RATING: (************) WAR CONDIT!!!!!!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.