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By: Rich Hansen, MMATorch Columnist
So here's one metric that I use to determine how meaningful a UFC card actually was. When I write this column and I struggle to come up with just ten guys to write about, and then cheat at the end and just pick fights for two or three fighters with no explanation, that's a weak card. UFC 163, I'm looking in your direction.
And when a 13-fight card like the one we had on Saturday night goes down, and I've got to say something about more than twenty of the fighters, yeah, that's a solid card. Make no doubt about it, the UFC's debut on Fox Sports 1 was in fact the best card of the year. So, with no further pretense, let's get to it.
Chael Sonnen: This pains me, leading off my feature having to shower praise upon Charlatan Sonnen. Sure I knew he was going to win, but in my universe it was 25 minutes of deathly dull head sitting upon. While a submission victory was more likely than a standing KO, I cannot say I saw this coming. His performance was flawless, and he's a threat to everyone at 185 or 205, Chris Weidman, Anderson Silva, and Jon Jones excepted. Chael has called out Wanderlei Silva. Vitor Belfort has called out Sonnen. Belfort and Silva have unfinished business. Oh, the drama. Where's the love, boys? WHERE! IS! THE! LOVE!
Next fight: Chael Sonnen vs. Vitor Belfort. The UFC doesn't want Vitor anywhere near a belt, but putting him in against strikers Michael Bisping and Luke Rockhold only moved him closer to a title shot. If Zuffa thinks Sonnen can beat Belfort, they're making this fight. If they don't believe Sonnen will batter Balfort, then they're doing Connen vs. Wanderlei Silva. It's also possible they'll do Sonnen vs. Lyoto Machida.
Shogun Rua: Like the quarterback referenced by Theo in Die Hard, Shogun is toast. Injuries, age, and a decade of damage have killed the savage who reigned in Japan. Sadly, he never fully materialized in the UFC, and any hopes of him ever again being that killer are dead. He's 2-4 in his last six, and those wins were over a mediocre Brandon Vera and a disinterested Forrest Griffin. I understand that the losses are to Sonnen, Alexander Gustafsson, Dan Henderson, and Jon Jones. But that's just four more fights worth of damage dished out by four elite fighters. I'm saddened that he didn't leave his gloves in the middle of the cage.
Next fight: Shogun Rua vs. Dan Henderson. Keep two aged veterans away from anyone relevant, and hope that the rematch can be 50% as entertaining as their first fight. A rematch with Rogerio Nogueira might make some sense, although Nogueira has nothing to gain from it.
Travis Browne: Browne won the fight in decisive fashion, and ended the title dreams of Alistair Overeem in the process. Also, Browne is young enough where he's not likely to regress anytime soon. That said, the Browne who fought last night goes 5-5 against the Overeem we saw last night. No shame in that, not at all. Browne's legit, as is Overeem, and now Browne is one fight away from a title shot.
Next fight: Travis Browne vs. Fabricio Werdum. Winner of this fight gets the winner of Cain Velasquez vs. Junior dos Santos. If they decide to give Werdum a title shot without another win, then Browne can fight the winner of Josh Barnett vs. Frank Mir next. A wild possibility would be Stipe Miocic, but I don't think that makes a ton of sense.
Alistair Overeem: The biggest bust in UFC history? Considering the expectations, the pricetag, the hassle of getting him signed in the first place, the KO losses to Antonio Silva and Travis Browne, and finally the fact that he ran cash-cow Brock Lesnar out of fighting and into acting, yeah, he's the biggest bust in company history. And still, he could win two or three in a row and get a title shot because people are still likely to be interested in seeing him fight. He looked fantastic on Saturday night. Well, until that moment where he didn't look fantastic, dig?
Next fight: Alistair Overeem vs. Mark Hunt. PRIDE NEVER DIE!!!! No, I kid. I just think this is a fantastic fight all things considered, and that's even before, um, before considering (I need a thesaurus) the fact that they're both former K1 Grand Prix Champions. No way this doesn't end violently enough to keep MMA out of New York for another decade. Let's just say Overeem isn't winning that rematch by first round keylock, okay? Overeem could fight Rodrigo Nogueira or Stefan Struve if the UFC decides not to book Nogueira against Struve this winter. If they aren't available, how about a rematch with Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series?
Urijah Faber: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It sucks to be the third best fighter in your division and being unable to beat the two title holders, especially when both of them are on the shelf with the good china. And until the moment Renan Barao and Eddie Wineland actually trade leather, he's on the shelf in my universe. If Dominick Cruz returns in February or March, Cruz will be fighting Barao or Wineland (or Wineland? I made a funny), which means Faber won't be looking at a title shot without one or two more wins. In my world, Faber's fighting the best available bantamweight on the same card as Cruz vs. Barao, and the winners fight in the summer of 2014.
Next fight: Urijah Faber vs. Michael McDonald. Kinda took all the drama out of the upcoming McDonald section, didn't I? Do you have any idea who wins this fight? Me neither.
Iuri Alcantara: That first round was my favorite five minutes of the MMA year, short of maybe the five minutes I spent cackling after Jon Jones finished off Chael Sonnen back in April. That said, Alcantara is vastly underrated, but isn't as good as Urijah Faber. I think we knew that coming in. I think his performance elevates his standing in the UFC, even though he got 30-26'd on two cards. That speaks very well of Faber, no?
Next fight: Iuri Alcantara vs. Brad Pickett. But read the Pickett section anyways, k? Thanks. If they don't go that route they could give him either Scotty Jorgensen or the loser of the upcoming Takeya Mizugaki vs. Erik Perez fight.
Matt Brown: Who would believe that we live in a world where Matt Brown can call out Georges St-Pierre in a semi-credible manner. Of course, Brown lives in a world where Mike Pyle is better than St-Pierre, so maybe not so much. Brown destroyed Pyle, and it is now literally against the law of the land to sell Brown short anymore. And for the record, an alternate definition of the word literally is now, “Used to acknowledge that something is not literally true but is used for emphasis or to express strong feeling.” That's right, literally now means either literally, OR THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF LITERALLY. Sorry, I get worked up over the stupidity of the species sometimes.
Next fight: Matt Brown vs. the winner of Carlos Condit vs. Martin Kampmann. A lot of people doubted Brown against Mike Swick, against Jordan Mein, and against Mike Pyle. And if he gets Condit or Kampmann he'll be doubted again. Clearly he likes it that way. Frankly, I want to see Brown vs. Robbie Lawler, but it seems like Lawler has a date with Rory MacDonald. Assuming Tarec Saffiedine actually exists and isn't just the Legend of Bagger Vance, Saffiedine vs. Brown makes a lot of sense too.
Mike Pyle: This was a coin flip fight, where I had no idea if Pyle would win or lose, go to decision, or be a KO or submission. I certainly didn't think it'd be less than 30 seconds, though. Pyle looked bad on Saturday night, but really how else are you going to look in a 30 second loss. It's hard to know what to make of Pyle's future. He's really good, he was on a four-fight win streak, but he's getting up there in age. I'm of the belief that he got caught, and he gets a mulligan before being permanently discarded.
Next fight: Mike Pyle vs. Jake Ellenberger. Which would essentially be the UFC giving him a mulligan for his loss to Brown. I think Ellenberger wins this fight, but it doesn't mean Pyle doesn't deserve the chance to delete Saturday night, either. If the UFC knocks him down a couple notches, he could fight Tyron Woodley (that'll teach him!). If they decide to knock way down the ladder, how about Pyle vs. the loser of Court McGee and Robert Whittaker?
John Howard: I hated every second of the fight, in part because Uriah Hall was given his spot based on his ability to beat up people on The Ultimate Fighter, and in part because I knew it was going to be fifteen minutes of suck. Howard won, and convinced nobody of anything except the fact that he has no idea what time is the right time to slap high fives.
Next fight: John Howard vs. CB Dollaway: Sure, why not, who cares? Moving on...
Uriah Hall: As much as I didn't want to write about John Howard, there's Uriah Hall. If it's me, I'm releasing him. He smashed chumps “in the house.” And if you're in the house and losing, then you aren't any damn good. NEXT!
Michael Johnson: There are two Michael Johnson's. The Johnson that looked really good in the first round against Jonathan Brookins, and the Michael Johnson who showed up in rounds two and three of that same fight. Tonight we got Good Johnson. Next time, who the hell knows which one we get. I'll tell you this, no matter the opponent, no matter the betting line, don't bet on that fight.
Next fight: Michael Johnson vs. the winner of Gleison Tibau vs. Jamie Varner. I don't trust Johnson to not lay a flaming turd his very next time out, so I'm keeping him as far away from great fighters as long as I can. Let him win five in a row and we can revisit him sometime around the 2016 Summer Olympics. Daron Cruickshank makes a lot of sense, as does Mark Bocek, if he gets out of UFC 165 unscathed.
Joe Lauzon: Jens Pulver. Brandon Melendez. Jason Reinhardt. Kyle Bradley. Jeremy Stephens. Gabe Ruediger. Curt Warburton. Melvin Guillard. Jamie Varner. Those are Lauzon's UFC wins. So let's stop calling him a top 20 lightweight, k? Thanks. There's a difference between exciting and great. He's exciting and decent, no shame there.
Next fight: Joe Lauzon vs. Matt Wiman. That might just be the easiest call I've ever made. Which pretty much guarantees it won't happen. They're equally talented, equally exciting, and were both on TUF Season 5, AKA the last good season of the dying franchise. A fight with Evan Dunham is a solid plan B. Really solid. I mean, really REALLY solid, no? Takanori Gomi? Jesus, I just booked the next 15 months of Lauzon's career!
Michael McDonald: I was a little hesitant to, sorry Jamie, crown his ass as a great bantamweight. At his age, I figured there's just no way he could really be a top five bantamweight yet. Well, the air brakes have been released, and I'm on board. Unless Dominick Cruz is a cyborg who returns completely unscathed, and starting the moment Renan Barao makes the inevitable move to featherweight, McDonald is the future of this division.
Next fight: Michael McDonald vs. Urijah Faber. For reasons I explained earlier.
Brad Pickett: The ceiling isn't glass, it's cast-iron. He's really good, not getting any better, and is a complete asset to the division. I really don't know what else to say about the guy.
Next fight: Brad Pickett vs. Iuri Alcantara. Again, for reasons described above. Pickett delivers entertaining fights with a high level of skill. As does Alcantara. As would Eddie Wineland, after Renan Barao separates Wineland from consciousness. He could also pull out a fun scrap with Ivan Menjivar or Mike Easton.
Conor McGregor: Look, he's a good fighter, okay? Fine, we've agreed. He's good. No, no, slow down, we agreed to good, not great. His UFC wins are Marcus Brimage and Max Holloway. Slow down, take a deep breath. HEY! I said slow down with it a little. He's not going to get the chance to beat Frankie Edgar. He's not next for Ricardo Lamas. Don't let the UFC control the narrative here. Just because he (and what's his name) got his entire walk out aired on TV, an honor that no one out side of the main event got, an honor freaking B.J. Penn didn't get when he was on Fox, doesn't mean that you have to swallow the 42 pounds of hype. He gets a top 15 guy next, then a top 10 guy, then a top 5 guy. Then and only then can we talk about him vs. the champ, okay?
Next fight: Conor McGregor vs. Diego Brandao: Flip a three-faced coin between Brandao, Steven Siler, or Charles Oliveira, after Oliveira summarily dispatches of Estevan Payan in October. If McGregor did blow out his knee, he might be out until March. And OH MY GOD; A UFC UNIVERSE WITHOUT CONOR MCGREGOR IN IT WOULD BE WORSE THAN A UFC PPV WITHOUT STEMM! KILL ME NOW!
Other fights to make:
Diego Brandao vs. the winner of Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier (or, you know, McGregor)
Steven Siler vs. Rani Yahya
Manny Gamburyan vs. Hatsu Hioki (if he defeats Darren Elkins) or Akira Corassani
Cole Miller vs. the loser of Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier
Ovince St. Proux vs. Anthony Perosh
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Jamie Penick, editor-in-chief
(mmatorcheditor@gmail.com)
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Frank Hyden - Rich Hansen
Chris Park - Matt Pelkey
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