Other Events
TITAN FC 17 LIVE RESULTS: Hansen's Running Commentary on Lashley vs. Ott fight card
Mar 26, 2011 - 12:00:00 AM TITAN FC 17 LIVE RESULTS: Hansen's Running Commentary on Lashley vs. Ott fight card

DISCUSS ALL THIS IN OUR NEW MMATORCH FORUM

...OH, ONE MORE THING - PLEASE BOOKMARK US & VISIT DAILY!

By Rich Hansen, MMA Torch Columnist

Sorry for the late start in covering Titan FC 17, live on HDNet. I'll post the results for the first two fights, and then provide my thoughts throughout the rest of the card.

Fight #1: Anthony Gutierrez defeats Jon Hollis at 4:40 of round 1 (submission via triangle choke)

Fight #2: James Krause defeats Nathan Schut at 0:40 of round 1 (TKO via head kick, followed by ground and pound)

Fight #3: Alonzo Martinez vs. Aaron Derrow:

9:36 PM (Central Daylight time) - Martinez has a red, green, and white checkerboard where his hair is supposed to be. He did a good job avoiding a triangle, then an armbar, from Derrow, who is apparently known as Daddy Long Legs.

9:39 - The bottom of Derrow's feet are so yellow I think that they slept with Tommy Lee.

9:41 - This is really sloppy. Not good sloppy, but bad, I know what to do but have no idea how to do it, sloppy. This is so bad that Don Frye should be doing commentary.

9:42 - Round 1 is over. It's been fun in spots, but not particularly good.

9:44 - Derrow's cornermen are wearing headbands. I mean, like, let's get physical, physical. I wanna get physicaaaaaaaalllllll, let's get into physical, style. 1983 called. They said, yeah, go ahead and keep that look, you guys can have that one.

9:46 - Martinez is the smaller fighter, better striker. Has been fairly successful at keeping the fight on the feet.

9:48 - Derrow spent most of the time on his back. Martinez is content to stay inside his close guard and do minimal damage. Other than a late attempt near the end of the round, Derrow was unable to try for a submission. 20-18 Martinez.

9:49 - I know what you're thinking. You're superfly pissed off that I didn't tell you my scoring after round on1. Forgiv-uh-ness, please!

9:51 - Derrow with a knockdown to open the round. Schiavello with the sing-song voice. Goes for Martinez' back, couldn't get it, and Martinez escapes. More punching-type violence ensues, and Derrow is on top. Martinez lost his mouth piece. Round still has 2+ minutes left, and it's looking like it could go 10-8.

9:53 - Martinez is turtling, Derrow's on top, pounding away at his head in north-south. Gets his back, looking for a choke. Martinez is tough, fighting that one off. Martinez wound up in Derrow's guard, and he's throwing elbows. Schiavello's into this one now, to say the least.

9:54 - Martinez gets to his feet, Droow gets up, and the round ends with Derrow throwing exhausted bombs. I score it 28-28.

9:57 - Alonzo Martinez defeats Aaron Derrow by Majority Decision (28-28, 29-28, 29-28)

10:00 - That third round was a lot of fun. Even more fun than Zane Lamprey's Drinking Made Easy commercials...

Fight #4: Eric Marriott vs. Willian De Souza

10:02 - Nope. I've never heard of either of them, either.

10:03 - Taped piece on 190 pounds of Bobby Lashley and 60 pounds of unnecessarily muscle. Apparently the day after the Griggs fight, Lashley was diagnosed with mono. I did not know that.

10:08 - Oh, I almost forgot. Someone in the last fight came out to something that sounded like Evanescence. If I find out who, I will hate them forever.

10:10 - These guys fight at 150. De Souza sports a 2-1 record. Marriott is from Missouri, and has a 19-X (bad audio) record.

10:12 - De Souza wants to get the fight to the ground. I would think so, because his standup looks as awkward as a 5'11" 4th grader.

10:20 - We're half way through round 2 now. Stoopid satellite dish.

10:21 - Marriott is toying with De Souza. De Souza was butt-scooting, and took a spinning heel kick to the butt for his troubles. Oh, @DuaneFinleyMMA gave round 1 to Marriott, so you should too.

10:21 (and a half) - Oh, sorry, this isn't Twitter.

10:36 - Eric Marriott defeats William De Souza by Unanimous Decision (30-27 x3)

Sorry for the scant coverage. The baby was crying. And no, that was not a joke at Jamie Penick's expense.

Fight #5: Phil Baroni vs. Nick Nolte:

10:39 - If only Phil Baroni's parents would have named him Gary Busey. [sigh]

10:41 - They ran a taped piece a few minutes ago where Baroni showed off his abs and called himself "The Circumstance", Jersey shore style. There's nothing I can add to that. Nolte weighed in at 185, Baroni is in at 183.

10:43 - Baroni getting booed before the bell. Nolte is 3-2 in his career, and hails from Kansas City, MO. I wonder how he got this gig, other than to be a glorified punching bag.

10:44 - I just used the phrase 'glorified punching bag' during a Baroni fight without describing Baroni. Huh. How bout that.

10:45 - Nolte needs a tan.

10:47 - Baroni spent the first two minutes of the match getting pressed into the cage. Gee, I hope he doesn't get tired. Baroni's been trying to use his wrestling game, and three minutes in, he's on top, inside Nolte's guard.

10:49 - Nolte had Baroni pressed against the cage and did precisely no damage. Baroni got side control for the last 90 seconds, and did exactly no damage. give this one to Baroni, I suppose.

10:51 - Round 2, and Rameau Thierry Baroni came out hot, but had his back against the fence within 30 seconds. Kruck interviewed Josh Thomson (AKA Teammate of Baroni). Thomson's a decent dude. Baroni's on top now, to Thomson's pleasure.

10:53 - Ref stands them up. Baroni gets another takedown, and immediately takes a break to, you know, breathe. Interesting, seeing as how he's in side control and choosing to take a breather. One minute left, crowd starting to boo.

10:55 - Schiavello: Nolte's taking more shots than teh New york mob. Really?

10:56 - First 30 seconds of round 3, Baroni lands a haymaker, nolte is hurt, but Baroni doesn't move one inch for 10 seconds. Baroni's out on his feet, and Nolte is too inexperienced to do anything about it. This is TUF 10, or Kimbo v. Houston Alexander bad.

10:58 - They're both gassed. Gentleman's agreement to both go to the ground. Baroni lands on top of Nolte, can't get mount even though Nolte is unconscious. Apparently he's breathing SO hard that it's enough to keep Baroni from being able to get mount.

10:59 - Side control. This is awful. If the ref stands them up, It's gonna be like the end of Rocky vs. Apollo Creed 2. The fight is over. Baroni will get the win.

11:02 - Phil Baroni defeats Nick Nolte by Mutual Exhaustion Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)

11:03 - I'd rather see Cro Cop vs. Arlovski vs. Sylvia vs. Liddell than see Baroni. Speaking of Sylvia...

Fight #6: Abe Wagner vs. Aron Rosa:

11:08 - Wagner made his name of of Tim Sylvia which would explain why his name is so small.

11:11 - It's funny listening to the Aussie Michael Schiavello try to roll the letter 'R' in Rosa's name.

11:12 - I hate myself and love MMA, which are the two prerequisites to make it through tonight's card. I envy Penick for not having HDNet in his house...

11:14 - Rosa is Spanish for 'pudgy'.

11:15 - Wagner is +130. He just beat tim Sylvia. MMAMath says, Sylvia sucks.

11:18 - Punchie punchie, eventually Rosa lands on top and does very little. Still a hundred times better than round 3 of the Baroni fight.

11:20 - Ref says, "Come on guys, you gotta work," and then stifles a laugh. 10-9 Rosa. blechh.

11:22 - Rosa with the Big Kabosh, and then 30 seconds later chokes out Wagner. Tim Sylvia just shook his head slowly and ate a big Mac. Another Big Mac, I should say.

Fight #6: Aaron Rosa defeats Abe Wagner at :30 of round 2 (submission via rear naked choke)

11:24: Meh.

Fight #7: Bobby Lashley vs. John Ott

11:37 - Lashley is -1800. Ott is +1150. $100 on Lashley would earn you $5.55.

11:38 - Lashley with the immediate double leg. Ott's defending well for a minute, but how long can he avoid the big haymaker or elbow?

11:41 - Ott's face is going to look like Diego Sanchez' face after the Kampmann fight. Lashley is doing tremendous damage. He hasn't tried to pass guard, and has been throwing elbows and hammerfists from guard for more than 4.5 minutes.

11:45 - On to round two, somehow. Lashley took his mouthpiece out of his mouth right before the bell rang to start round two, just to buy 10 seconds. He's THAT tired. He's gassed, but Ott is damaged. Lashley took a full minute to shoot the double leg. It was ugly as jell, but he got him down. In guard, against the cage, and now side control halfway through the 2nd round. Lashley can't do anything, and Ott can't escape. It's like a Mobeus Strip of Suck.

11:49 - 20-17 Lashley. this is one of the five worst fights I have ever seen.

11:50 - I can't describe how bad Lashley looks on his feet. He's got the entire crowd, and Schiavello, cheering against him. Lashley literally can't move, and Ott isn't doing ANYTHING. Lashley is so tired he can't even fall down. Lashley is almost spitting out his mouthguard from breathing so hard. Crowd is chanting OTT OTT OTT, even though he's done NOTHING.

11:52 - Double leg. And the crowd goes silent. Worst fight I have ever seen.

11:57 - Bobby Lashley defeats Nick Nolte by Unanimous Decision (29-27, 30-27, 29-27)

11:59 - I'll never watch Lashley fight again. I have better things to do with my life than watch this shit.