Tuesday night is here again. Joining me on the couch will be my two-month-old daughter, Esra. Esra, say hello.

(Esra makes the poopy face)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ahem, er, well, maybe next time. For now, we have the much better introduction featuring the Bodog girls and the ultimate Bodog guy himself, Calvin Ayre. We get two more fights tonight on free TV. How nice is that?

I have to admit I do like the part where they show what you can’t do in MMA. It sort of reminds me of the scene in “Slapshot” where the goalie is being interviewed in the beginning and demonstrates various penalties on the interviewer. High comedy.

First up, Kyacey “Ice Cold” Uscola (11-8, 10 TKO) versus Izuru Takeuchi (21-8-6, 3 TKO, 2 Sub) in a middleweight bout. Uscola has been seen in Bodog getting choked out by Trevor Prangley, who will be appearing later. Of course, Uscola has been getting tapped out quite a bit lately, losing three of his last four. Takeuchi is slightly better going 2-2, including a TKO loss to Yushin Okami. We may not see some of the best fighters in the world in this one, but it should be interesting.

Kyacey describes himself as a knockout artist in his preflight hype and we see him beating on some hapless gym bag. We switch to Takeuchi who says he is a “bottomless lagoon” because of his stamina. Well, he doesn’t actually say this. An interpreter does on voiceover. And, to keep the mood alive, the interpreter uses a Japanese accent, so we can affirm that Takeuchi is indeed Japanese. Apparently, we will have another striker versus grappler match-up, which has been de rigueur for Bodog this season. So far, it’s worked out pretty well.

So, a break for commercial and we’re back to get it on. First, we get a look at some Costa Rican scenery. Esra and I are both watching the same area, but with different thoughts in mind. Anyway, Colonel Bob Sheridan and Paul Lazenby are at ringside handicapping the fight. They shoot to Jeff Osbourne who, like his counterparts, is picking Uscola. Takeuchi comes to the ring looking confident, as does Uscola.

1 - Kyacey “Ice Cold” Uscola (11-8, 10 TKO) vs. Izuru Takeuchi (21-8-6, 3 TKO, 2 Sub) – Middleweight

ROUND 1 - The horn sounds and the fighters circle. And circle. And circle. A minute goes by without much action. Uscola looks a lot bigger than Takeuchi. A minute and a half and Uscola is controlling the ring throwing jabs. Takeuchi is on his bicycle and staying away. Uscola throws a right kick to the body, which Takeuchi clutches. Takeuchi tries to get Uscola down, but to no avail and they stay on their feet. Three minutes in and it’s still Uscola pursuing and Takeuchi retreating. Four minutes in and Uscola’s jab is starting to find the range. I wonder why Takeuchi hasn’t shot yet. His corner is yelling at him, but it’s Japanese and our accented interpreter is nowhere to be found. Takeuchi throws a tentative leg kick, which is as much offense as we’ve seen from him so far. The round ends like it started. Essentially, this was a five-minute dance. The milk lady informs us that round two is upcoming. I’d rather change diapers than watch that round again. Still though, Uscola won it easily, 10-9, and he is showing no fear whatsoever of Takeuchi.

ROUND 2 – The horn farts and we’re off again. The fight plods along. Takeuchi is showing a little more aggression this round, which is to say, he is actually throwing punches. Uscola is still leading the dance around the ring though. Halfway through this round and it is a carbon copy of round one. Uscola pacing, Takeuchi retreating. Except I’m not writing fifteen lines on it this time. Esra yawns. So do I. The fighters clinch momentarily. There must have been a break in the music. With 1:53 left in the second round, Takeuchi shoots for a single leg takedown. Uscola sprawls and gets a front headlock and Takeuchi. Takeuchi backs up and gets a knee to the head for his efforts. The band starts up again and the fighters continue their waltz. The horn farts again and it would appear that Uscola has another 10-9 round. A very meh fight so far.

ROUND 3 – I don’t see how Takeuchi is going to win this fight, but that’s why they fight three rounds. The horn bleats and the fighters dance a little faster. Takeuchi has come out and is letting his hands go. Clearly, they gave him the Japanese symbols for ‘You’re losing!” in his corner. This is good strategy… for Uscola. Uscola nails Takeuchi with a nice knee and backs Takeuchi up. Takeuchi waves Uscola in and then shoots. He gets Uscola’s leg, but they roll into Takeuchi’s guard. Neither fighter does much and we get an almost immediate standup. Great right body kick by Takeuchi. It sounded like he whacked a piece of meat. Uscola winces, but presses on. Halfway through the round, they clinch up and Takeuchi manages to get a single leg takedown in to Uscola’s guard. Takeuchi is very active, but can’t get many clean shots in. Takeuchi works the ground and pound pretty well for about a minute, then, in a bizarre sequence that I cannot possibly describe, Takeuchi tries to pass, but ends up getting reversed and landing with Uscola in side control. Uscola lands a couple shots, but both fighters are throwing well. The round ends and Uscola might have stolen it, but it doesn’t really matter as he had two rounds in the bag. Takeuchi had a very good round, but I don’t know why he didn’t come out like that to start.

RESULT – Kyacey Uscola by decision.

RATING – (*) – Awful fight saved only by a decent last round. Neither fighter was impressive and I’ve spent too much space on it already.

Next up is Trevor Prangley and Pierre Guillet. Prangley has four UFC fights, but lost his last two by decision, although one was a decision loss to Jeremy Horn. Guillet has been TKOed by Renato Sobral, so he has seen some solid competition as well. Prangley looks to be the more polished fighter, but that’s why they fight in the ring. Phil Baroni says that Prangley is “the best 185 pound fighter that nobody gets to see fight”. Baroni follows that up saying he considers himself the best 185 pounder, but wouldn’t want to fight Prangley. That’s some pretty high praise there. Someone named Alan Lee pimps Guillet as being an “all-around MMA guy” After that, as if Baroni’s testimony wasn’t enough, we get Matt Lindland talking about Prangley’s skill and giving him props too. Gee, I wonder who the favorite is here. Now I’m interested. Either this is going to be a rout or a shocker. Let’s get to it.

We’re back with the Colonel and Lazenby. Sheridan introduces Lazenby as the champion. Champion if what, I wonder? Anyway, on to the fight.

2 - Trevor Prangley (14-4, 2 TKO, 6 Sub) vs. Pierre “The Professional” Guillet (10-4, 3 TKO, 6 Sub) – Middleweight

ROUND 1 – The horn squeaks and away we go. Prangley charges right in with a combination and a knee to Guillet. Guillet spins away to the middle. Guillet answers back with a combination of his own. Prangley comes in again and they hook up in a clinch. Guillet is throwing knees. The first hits high on Prangley’s thigh. The second hits a little higher. Prangley winces and the ref steps in to give him a break. Prangley comes back out and starts off with a nasty combination that all land solidly. Guillet covers up and tries to shoot. Prangley sees it all the way and steps over to take Guillet’s back. Prangley stretches out Guillet and secures the rear naked choke. Guillet taps and that’s it.

RESULT – Prangley by submission at 1:49 of round 1.

RATING (**) – A good effort from Guillet, but he isn’t anywhere near Prangley’s class. This was a rout from the get-go. Meh. I’d rather see him fight against a better opponent. It’s hard to see ramifications with Bodog, since there really doesn’t seem to be an endgame on the horizon. It would be nice to see them designate some champions and use the show to develop challengers.

I didn’t like the show tonight, but, fortunately, that’s been a rarity this season instead of the rule. Josh Thompson and Eddie Alvarez are pimped for next week, so that makes me smile. But for now, time for Esra to go to bed and me to sign off. Your feedback is always welcome at our forum. Please stop in and say hello, won’t you?