The show opens with Joe Lauzon's submission win over Brian Geraghty. Noah Thomas describes the match in his deadpan drawl. Nate Diaz, whose nickname should be “Mush-Mouth,” says Geraghty is better than he showed against Lauzon.
Next Rob Emerson vs. Corey Hill is highlighted. Matt Wiman says the fight was close. Noah Thomas and Joe Lauzon feel Emerson won. Corey Hill feels fortunate to have won his first fight.
UFC President Dana White pulls BJ Penn into his office for a talking. Basically he said, WTF BJ? White wants to know why Team Penn keeps losing. White is hearing rumors Penn is not pushing his team. White says Penn doesn't want to become the Ken Shamrock of TUF 5. White says Penn needs to lay the smack down. Penn says he might need to retire Jens Pulver in their match to make amends for all the losses of his team. White uses a ton of f-bombs to reiterate to Penn that he is the team leader and he needs to lead his team.
At the Ultimate Fighter House, Rob Emerson is shown smoking a hookah and drinking beer from a keg in the backyard. After being down in the dumps from losing twice in TUF 5, Emerson decided he would have some fun. Nate Diaz asks Emerson if he ordered the keg through the fighter's grocery list for the producers. Emerson did indeed. Diaz is envious and jokes that he is ready to lose so he can party too. Brian Geraghty does a couple of beer bongs to forget his loss.
-We go to the next day at the Training Session for Team Penn. BJ Penn has gathered his team together for an announcement. PENN KICKS ANDY WANG OFF TEAM PENN. He says Wang doesn't listen and he's done with him. Wang is shocked and upset. He doesn't want to leave. Wang pleads with Penn, but the assistant coaches escort him from the training area. Dana White says he got a call to come to the UFC Training Center.
[Commercial Break]
-Back at the Training Session for Team Penn. Dana White has arrived. White says, "You can't kick people off your team." Penn says Andy Wang is causing dissention. Penn doesn't want Wang. White thinks Penn is overreacting, but calls him a "crazy f---" and says, "Andy Wang is lucky BJ kicked him off his team, and didn't kick his head off his shoulders." White says Wang needs to be kept around in case he needs to be an alternate fighter. White asks Jens Pulver if he'd like Andy Wang on his team. Pulver asks him team. At first they are resistant because they believe it will be Noah Thomas, but then after learning it's Andy Wang, they are shocked and say they'd definitely accept Wang on their team.
With Jens Pulver in the room, Dana White tells Andy Wang that Team Pulver wants him on their team. Andy Wang asks, "I have no say in the matter?" Dana White says, "This isn't f---ing colors, like we're in f---ing L.A. and s---, and you just switched sides on a f---ing gang. What you ought to do is go over there and f---ing hug Jens Pulver, and tell him thank you so much for accepting me on your team."
Pulver asks Wang why he is hesitating. Wang says he raised his hand at the beginning of the show (when Penn asked who wanted to be on his team and have nothing to do with Pulver) because he and Penn are both Hawaiian. Pulver says he doesn't care who raised their hand. Wang is still resisting and White is getting pissed. Finally, White tells him, "you don't have a choice" and throws a Team Pulver jersey on him. Wang says he feels that he made a commitment to BJ Penn, and even if Penn doesn't want him, he wants to live up to his commitment. White tells Wang he better make a commitment to himself, because there is only one TUF 5 contract. White says, "Now he's disrespecting Jens. I'm starting to see why BJ was so pissed. I want to f---ing kill Andy Wang."
Andy Wang mumbles, saying "you know what I'm saying, man?" and White responds, "No, I don't know what you're f---ing saying at all. I have no f---ing clue what you're saying. I'm completely f---ing baffled." White goes on to say, "You can go home and f---ing do pushups and cartwheels and jerk off and whatever the f--- you want to do. You need to f---ing train. He's a f---ing coach. Their team has accepted you. I'd throw that f---ing jersey on so f---ing fast....You're part of Team Pulver."
Andy Wang finally goes out to see Team Pulver. They all give him a hug and he accepts his transformation. Isn't that precious? A happy ending.
-We go to the Fight Announcement, where Andy Wang is in his new colors. BJ Penn leers at him. Dana White says Team Pulver is in control. Jens Pulver tells Wayne Weems to step forward. Weems goes over and chooses Gray Maynard. Yeah, good luck with that one. That makes the final fight Marlon Sims vs. Matt Wiman.
[Commercial Break]
-We go to the Training Session for Team Pulver. Jens Pulver is working with Wayne Weems. Pulver says Weems, “came into this thing half-assed, no muscle, no skills, no agility, but he’s been the most upbeat big-hearted son of a bitch I’ve ever met...Two and a half weeks and that kid has changed.” Weems says he isn’t very technical, and he just gets in there and fights people. Weems says he’ll never quit. Pulver says Weems knows, “he’s the black sheep in a white field.”
-We go to the Training Session for Team Penn. Gray Maynard says he’s been wrestling since he was 3 years old. Maynard says he’s been training in MMA for one year. BJ Penn says Maynard needs to not underestimate Wayne Weems.
Wayne Weems says he wants to be “the best 155-pounder period.” Back to reality -- Weems is perhaps the most non-threatening looking fighter ever, period.
Tonight’s amp’d mobile Polling Question is -- “Was BJ Penn right to kick Andy Wang off the team?”
[Commercial Break]
We’ve arrived at our first fight of the night. This is the seventh TUF 5 Preliminary Bout of the season.
Tale of the Tape
Gray Maynard - (27 / 5’9” / 69” reach / 3-0 record)
Wayne Weems (24 / 5’8” / 67.5” reach / 16-2(!) record)
7 - GRAY MAYNARD vs. WAYNE WEEMS
ROUND ONE: Referee Herb Dean presides. Glove touch to start. Gray Maynard scores a quick takedown off an overhand right. Wayne Weems has a hold of Maynard's head. Pulver instructs, “Holding on to that head isn’t going to help you, Weems.” Weems is lost and Maynard is working for position. Maynard throws down a few punches. Weems is bleeding. Weems turns to his belly. Maynard has his hooks set in and is wailing away at Weems’ head. The ref warns him not to hit the back of Weems’ head. Maynard hammers Weems in the side and then more to the head. Weems is just sprawled out on the mat taking punches. This goes on in absurdity, and the ref finally steps in. Maynard wasn’t killing him, but Weems was doing absolutely nothing, so it was just getting stupid. BJ Penn could be heard saying, “This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”
FINISH: Gray Maynard won by TKO at 2:37 of Round 1.
STAR RATING: (*-) Really kind of embarrassing for the UFC. Anyone just tuning in would be thinking, “why is that man hurting that boy?” I mean, an open casting call for the best lightweights in the country and somehow Wayne Weems makes the cut? Perhaps they were hoping for some kind of great transformation for an underdog angle on the show. This match was more like abuse than a fight.
RAMIFICATIONS: Gray Maynard moves on to the TUF 5 quarterfinals with Cole Miller, Manny Gamburyan, Nate Diaz, Brandon Melendez, Joe Lauzon, Corey Hill. Either Marlon Sims or Matt Wiman will join them tonight.
Wayne Weems is pissed. He throws his shirt and pounds the counter. Nate Diaz thinks Weems has a lot of heart. Jens Pulver says now Weems, “is no longer a fake fighter. He’s a real fighter.” Weems says everyone loses, so he’s ready to keep learning. Weems definitely has a ton of heart, it’s just that his talent isn’t up to the level necessary to compete in the UFC, and with his babyface, there's no way he can be taken seriously unless he's better than everybody else, and he isn't even close.
-We go back at the Ultimate Fighter House. Scenes of Gray Maynard making fun of Marlon Sims and his stories, are intercut with scenes of Sims telling stories. Maynard and Matt Wiman, in particular, have grown very tired of Sims’ stories. Wiman says, “I’ve never really met a genuinely tough guy that tried to convince people he was tough.” And this statement pretty much sums up Marlon Sims.
[Commercial Break]
-We go to the Training Session for Team Penn. Matt Wiman says his nickname is “Mildly Attractive.” He says his original nickname was “Handsome,” but he wanted to humble himself for the TUF 5 audience. Wiman hopes to work his way up to “Sexiest Man Alive.” Wiman believes his job before God is to be a fighter.
-At the Training Session for Team Pulver, Marlon Sims says he’s been fighting since he was 5 years old. He is now 33. Sims wants to show the world that Muay Thai strikers can still compete in the UFC. Jens Pulver is excited for Sims-Wiman. So is Dana White. Sims says he has trained his entire life to “knock people out.” Sims believes he is the best striker in TUF 5. Sims’ nickname is “Mr. Indestructible.”
The results are in for the amp’d mobile Poll - “Was BJ Penn right to kick Andy Wang off the team?”
A: YES (0%)
B: NO (0%)
I did a spit-take with these results. Am I the only one watching? These seriously were the results listed on screen. 0% each!
[Commercial Break]
This is eight and final TUF 5 Preliminary Bout.
Tale of the Tape
Marlon Sims (33 / 5’11” / 73” reach / 3-1 record)
Matt Wiman (23 / 5’10” / 69” reach / 6-3 record)
8 - MARLON SIMS vs. MATT WIMAN
ROUND ONE - Big John McCarthy presides in this one. No glove touch for these two enemies. Matt Wiman and Marlon Sims land simultaneous punches, but Sims goes down. He scrambles to get up, but Wiman jumps on his back and rides him back down to the ground. Wiman whacks Sims to the side of his head a couple of several times. Wiman sets his hooks in, and applies a choke. Sims goes limp into la-la land. McCarthy comes to the rescue of Sims, and calls the fight.
FINISH: Matt Wiman won by Submission at 0:52 of Round 1.
STAR RATING: (*) Funky start to the fight, with both fighters connecting at the same time. Both guys got a black eye, but Wiman got the better of things, flattening Sims out, and choking him to sleep. Not much to the fight, but Wiman looked great.
RAMIFICATIONS: The TUF 5 Quarterfinals are set.
Nate Diaz (Team Pulver)
Manny Gamburyan (Team Pulver)
Corey Hill (Team Pulver)
Joe Lauzon (Team Penn)
Gray Maynard (Team Penn)
Brandon Melendez (Team Pulver)
Cole Miller (Team Pulver)
Matt Wiman (Team Penn)
NEXT WEEK - The quarterfinals start and a streetfight breaks out at the Ultimate Fighter House!
Thanks for reading. Have a nice day!
