UFC's The Ultimate Fighter 5
Episode 1
April 5, 2007
Aired on Spike TV (taped January/February 2007)

It feels good to be getting back to my roots here at the MMATorch, and back to reviewing The Ultimate Fighter. The MMATorch started around the same time as TUF 4 was starting, and coverage of that show was one of my first duties. Now, over seven months later, the MMATorch is going strong and The Ultimate Fighter is back for Season 5. This time, 16 lightweight fighters will compete in one tournament to determine the first ever lightweight TUF champion.

-We start TUF 5 at the Ultimate Fighter House. Sweet mansion as usual. Sixteen characters is a lot of guys to introduce. It’s going to take a few episodes before we get to know everyone.

Corey Hill is the first fighter introduced. Hill says everyone is nervous of him because he is 6'4" and attractive.

Allen Berube is introduced next. Berube is the owner of the Monstah Lobster restaurant in Tampa, Florida.

Gabe Ruediger says he loves to "get in people's heads and push buttons." Ruediger is shown causing various ruckuses.

-UFC President Dana White says the lightweight fighters are crazy. He isn’t sure if they have “little man” complex or they just have chips on their shoulders, but he is sure he wouldn’t want to live in the house with them. White says the coaches are crazy, too, which should make for an interesting season. White says there is “bad blood” between TUF 5 Coaches BJ Penn and Jens Pulver. The two have fought each other before at UFC 35 in 2002.

Pulver tells how Penn beat him up for two rounds. Pulver says after the second round, he thought about how everyone thought he sucked. He said this motivated him to come back and win the next three rounds, or as Pulver put it in his southern drawl -- “I’m going to ruin that guy’s day, I’m going to crush him, I’m going to piss on his Wheaties.” The term gunslinger has been applied to Pulver’s fighting style and is actually apropos for his personality, too. He also talks like a gunslinger.

White says Penn feels Pulver has been dodging a rematch with him for the past five years. White says Pulver felt he proved all he needed to in regards to Penn. White says we’re going to get this long-awaited rematch at the TUF 5 Finale on Spike TV -- Penn vs. Pulver II.

Penn says Pulver is going to have to retire after their match. Pulver says he’s tired of hearing Penn’s name and just wants to “blast him.”

White is shown meeting with Penn and Pulver. White says he realizes the two have to focus on fighting each other, but that they also need to do some coaching. White says he needs them to find him the best 155-pound fighter on the show. Penn and Pulver shake hands. They agree to battle through coaching for the time being.

-We go the Fighter Evaluations for Team Pulver. It is morning. Pulver says he wanted to stay back during the workout, and allow the fighters to show him what they had. Joe Lauzon says Nate Diaz is the first fighter to stick out to him. Lauzon says Nate fights like his brother Nick. Nate says his brother started with Pulver, so he’d like to be on Pulver’s team.

Cole Miller noticed Corey Hill and his crazy antics right away. Miller says Hill is like “an animal waiting to be unleashed on somebody.” Hill is shown talking to himself and barking, a lot.

Pulver is laughing because all the fighters are going to have to come back to the gym to workout with BJ Penn later.

-We go to the Fighter Evaluations for Team Penn. It is now evening. Everyone is looking sluggish. Penn tries to work out the fighters, but everyone is pooped. Penn wonders if it was a ploy by Pulver to wear out the fighters before his evaluation. Penn cuts the workout short. Penn thinks Pulver was trying to find the best fighters so he could credit his coaching to them. Penn says the best fighter doesn’t make the best coach, the best coach makes the best fighter, or some other yodaism like that.

-We are back at the Ultimate Fighter House. Gabe Ruediger admits that he took it easy during Pulver’s workout because he doesn’t want to be on his team. Cole Miller says he’d like to be on Penn’s team also, because Penn is his all-time favorite fighter. Allen Berube says that in 10 years no one will remember Pulver, while people will still remember Penn in 30 years.

-We go to the Team Selection with Dana White. White has a coin and he flips it. Team Pulver wins. Pulver has the choice of picking the first fighter or the first fight. Pulver picks the first fight. Penn gets first pick. Penn says, “If any of you here know for a complete fact that you want to be on my team, and give me 100 percent, and you don’t want nothing to do with Jens Pulver’s team, raise your hand.” We dramatically go to break.

[Commercial Break]

During break, a commercial plays for GRINDHOUSE. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever been more excited for a movie. First horror film directed by Quentin Tarantino; Robert Rodriguez takes on zombies; fake trailers by Eli Roth, Rob Zombie and Edgar Wright. What else could you possibly want? Sorry, had to go off topic to create some suspense for you.

-We come back to the Team Selection. Ten people have raised their hands. Gulp. Dana White looks really annoyed. Pulver is a bit peeved, too. To the cameras, Penn says he knew Pulver would be hurt, but that he didn’t care. White tells Penn that he has to pick only one fighter. Penn wants to split the fighters by their votes, Pulver agrees. White says no. Pulver says he has confidence in all 16 of the fighters, so he doesn’t care. Penn really wants to split the fighters without choosing individually. White lays down the law and goes into Dr. Evil’s “zip it” routine with Penn and Pulver, until Penn finally picks Gray Maynard. Maynard says he likes that Penn doesn’t care about causing trouble. Pulver picks Corey Hill first, which gives Hill an admitted boost of confidence.

Penn goes back to wanting to split the fighters by their votes. Pulver suggests those who want to go to Penn’s team have to stand there with their hands up the whole time, while the coaches pick individually. White is getting really pissed. “Guys, shut the bleep up,” from Dana White a couple of times finally settles down the coaches.

Brian Geraghty says the selection process was completely unorganized and unprofessional. Nate Diaz says he regrets having raised his hand at all, and he put his hand down part way through. He says he no longer cared whose team he was on, he just wanted out of the madness. Diaz ended up with Pulver. Several fighters complained about the awkwardness of the whole situation. After the selection process, Dana White is relieved to have avoided anarchy. He shakes his head and announces the new teams.

Gray Maynard

Matt Wiman

Gabe Ruediger

Joe Lauzon

Rob Emerson

Andy Wang

Allen Berube

Noah Thomas

Corey Hill

Nate Diaz

Brandon Melendez

Marlon Sims

Manny Gamburyan

Cole Miller

Brian Geraghty

Wayne Weems

Team Pulver will get to pick the first fight.

-In the van on the way home, Corey Hill and others are fired up. Hill wants to slap Gabe Ruediger and “bite his face off.” Brian Geraghty points out how personalities started to change once the fighters were divided into teams.

-At the Ultimate Fighter House, Hill confronts Ruediger, at first using words, but quickly transitions into only snarling. Hill circles Ruediger, barking like a dog. Hill may very well be the most out of control TUF fighter yet. There have been some real characters on TUF, but this guy is really something else in terms of being out of control.

[Commercial Break]

-It’s 6:00 am, and Andy Wang isn’t happy about having to be up so early. He says he usually doesn’t go home until this time.

-We go to the Training Session for Team Penn. Penn says his plan is to find out what everyone’s weaknesses are and make them smaller. The Assistant Coaches for Team Penn are Rudy Valentino for kickboxing, Tony DeSouza for wrestling, and Reagan Penn for jiu-jitsu. Gabe Ruediger says everyone really wanted to be on Team Penn, because Penn is more diverse in his fighting style. Ruediger says Pulver is one-dimensional with his focus on striking.

-Gabe Ruediger is shown getting onto the scale. Ruediger weights 175. Being as how this is a lightweight competition, that would make him 20 pounds too heavy. Ruediger doesn’t want Team Pulver to find out about his chubbiness, because they will see it as a weakness. Penn is shown drilling Ruediger as to what he had for dinner last night. Penn says Ruediger better hope Team Pulver doesn’t pick him.

-We go to the Training Session for Team Pulver. Jens Pulver says he is taking a hands-off approach to coaching. He says he’ll be there to push them, because he knows how mentally tough you have to be to get through. The Assistant Coaches for Team Pulver are Miletich trainer Matt Pena for boxing, Taisei Kikuchi for groundwork, and Kirk White for wrestling. Cole Miller likes Pulver. Pulver says his team is being good to him.

-Team Pulver is gathered together to pick the fight. Lots of guys want to fight. Pulver says he’s leaning towards Nate Diaz or Corey Hill. Cole Miller feels Pulver is going to pick Hill to fight. Several people lobby for Gabe Ruediger to be the opponent because of his weight. Ruediger says he’s not sweating Hill, but he is curious as to who Team Pulver will pick.

[Commercial Break]

-We come back to the Training Session for Team Penn. Gabe Ruediger has gained two pounds. Penn says twenty pounds is a lot of weight to cut in two days. Ruediger is shown crying in the parking lot. Ruediger says he felt the coaches had lost confidence in him. Penn reassures Ruediger that he’s confident Ruediger is giving one hundred percent. Rob Emerson says crying about weight seems like a “girl problem” and that Ruediger is a pussy. Ruediger hopes Team Pulver didn’t see him sob and says he is getting support from Team Penn.

-We go to the Fight Announcement. Dana White says the winner of TUF 5 will have to win three fights to make it to the finals. White asks Pulver for the fight. Pulver struts out in front of Team Penn, and looks them up and down. Pulver motions for Cole Miller to step forward. Miller walks over to Team Penn, and stands in front of Allen Berube. Ruediger is shown smiling. Berube and Miller pose nose to nose.

[Commercial Break]

-We come back to the Training Session for Team Pulver. Cole Miller says he planned to take 8 to 10 years to make it to the UFC. Now three and a half years later he has achieved his goal. Miller says he loves fighting, both punching and being punched. Miller says he chose Berube because he doesn’t feel Berube is taking the competition seriously.

-We go to the Training Session for Team Penn. Penn says he is hoping Berube can stay on his feet and land a big strike, and avoid submissions. Berube says he has been training for MMA for over a year. He has a 2-1 record. Berube says he doesn’t look at himself as a fighter, because he began fighting as a means of advertising for his restaurant. Penn is very supportive of Berube.

-Back at the Ultimate Fighter House, Cole Miller says he wanted to open the show to set a precedent. Allen Berube says Penn wants him to be the aggressor in the fight. Miller says Berube can pray for a judges’ decision or to land a lucky punch, but Miller has never been knocked out. Berube plans on knocking out Miller. Miller looks like, and likely is, a good guy, but man can he cut a badass promo. His demeanor doesn’t suggest he would have such a wicked tongue, but Miller buries Berube deep underground with his biting, confident commentary. Berube says he will win because he is “Monstah the Crustacean Sensation.” Miller says Penn ought to throw the towel in for Berube to start the fight.

[Commercial Break]

-We are at the first Preliminary Fight. Miller is still trash-talking as the fighters are in the cage. The fight will consist of 2 five-minute rounds, with a sudden victory round if necessary.

1 - ALLEN BERUBE (32 / 5’8” / 70” reach / 2-1) vs. COLE MILLER (22 / 6’1” / 74.5” / 11-2)

ROUND ONE: Big John McCarthy presides. The fighters touch gloves to start. The fighters circle as Penn tells Berube to keep his hands up. Penn urges Berube to engage first. Berube throws a few punches that miss their mark. Berube eventually does tag Miller, but only with a light right hand. Miller throws a high kick and Berube clinches him for a takedown. Miller grabs a guillotine on the way down. Miller has a hold of Berube. Berube is being patient. Berube pops his head out. Berube is on top of Miller in Miller’s full guard. The fighters are up against the fence. Miller looks to be working for a triangle. Miller is warned for hitting the back of Berube’s head. Miller spikes down some elbows into the back of Berube. Berube gets in a succession of rabbit punches to the face of Miller. Miller, meanwhile, has Berube trapped in a triangle choke. Berube taps out.

FINISH: Cole Miller wins by Submission at 2:33 of the First Round.

STAR RATING: (*) Not much to this first lightweight fight. Jens Pulver called it a “good technical fight.” That’s a good way to put it.

RAMIFICATIONS: While the match may not have been all that entertaining, a superstar has been born. Cole Miller has the rare ability to be both likable and brash at the same time. He’s extremely confident, but as the saying goes -- it ain’t cocky if you can back it up. Miller sure backed up his smacktalk on this night, and it should be a real pleasure to hear his ongoing candid commentary throughout this whole season.

FINAL THOUGHTS: This episode created several stars right out of the gate. Besides Cole Miller -- Corey Hill and Gabe Ruediger have captured the spotlight. Hill is like Shonie Carter if he was half-man/half-dog and on crack. Ruediger has a big personality that is sure to create some drama as the days drag on in the house. There are still quite a few redshirts out there, fighters who have names, but whose personalities have yet to be established. From the preview for next week, though, it seems like there are quite a few fiery tempers in the house. Things look to get heated pretty fast. Several gang banger attitudes and booze within a confined space doesn’t make for the happiest of environments. Surely, though, it’ll make for great reality television.

Questions, comments, concerns and the like for Randy Rowles can be e-mailed to mmatorch_predictions@yahoo.com.