Another Tuesday night and another scene that looks like it’s out of the “X-Files”. But, no, it’s Calvin Ayre, who’s richer than you and way cooler too! He rides in a tank and rounds people up at gunpoint. What do you do? That’s it? No wonder you want to be him.
Two heavyweight battles tonight, as we come down to the final weeks before the big PPV. And, they look heavy. It looks as if they don’t exactly pass the doughnut table at breakfast, if you get what I’m saying.
In the first matchup, we get Finnish rookie Jarno Nurminen against Korean veteran (for Bodog anyway) Sang Su Lee. Nurminen states that the reason he fights is that he loves to train. I thought that was kind of backwards, but I’m a newb and what do I know? Lee, apparently, is 2-1 and a Muay Thai and kickboxing specialist. Nurminen, aside from the training thing, is Finnish, and frankly, I know my share of Finns and they all seem to kick ass. In any case, here we go to Shinjuku Face in lovely Tokyo in front of a sold out crowd of maybe 2 dozen.
1 – JARNO NURMINEN (0-0) vs. SANG SU LEE (2-1, 2 dec.)
ROUND 1 – Lee waddles to the ring. Chunky does not describe this man. You may have heard of the body mass index (if not, look it up, that’s what Google is for, you keyboard jockeys). This dude has got to be in the 50s. Yikes. Nurminen makes his entrance wearing the more and more ubiquitous camouflage shorts… and Poindexter style glasses. I can’t believe I’m watching this. If the idea is a Maxim/FHM style MMA show, this can’t be making Calvin happy. Anyway, the bell rings and they touch gloves. Both fighters throw some sloppy assorted shots and then clinch. They then proceed to do a sort of Greco-Roman waltz of the hippos for the next two minutes or so. Think “Fantasia” with MMA gloves. Finally, Nurminen falls on top of Lee. Lee hangs on for dear life in guard, while Nurminen searches for an opening. He finds one and begins piledriving right hands to Lee’s exposed flank. Lee covers up, and after more relative inaction, Nurminen postures up and throws some half hearted kicks at Lee while he is in what I like to call, the “recliner” position. That is, on his back, legs splayed, hands behind head. I’m sure you MMA veterans have some fancy, perhaps Japanese, term for it. I’m sticking with “recliner” until I get corrected.
The referee finally stands Lee up and we’re back on the feet. Lee clearly looks more comfortable here and gets the first shot often, although none are very effective. They clinch again and Nurminen appears to get a trip on Lee to gain side-control. He quickly grabs Lee’s right arm for a Kimura attempt which causes one of the Vanilla twins (I don’t know which one because they sound alike to me) to shout “Armbar!” Where did they find these guys? I swear I could do the job twice as well for half the money. It sure looks like a Kimura to me, but Nurminen can’t hang on to it. No matter, he swings into mount and tries to land some punches, but Lee defends pretty well, or Nurminen needs more practice. Nurminen abandons the mount and gains north-south position. Then, he quickly transitions to an attempted guillotine choke, but that doesn’t work either. The fighters get back to their feet and Nurminen misses a head kick which causes him to topple in to the ropes. Lee jumps in and begins hammering away with new life. He is way behind in this round. Nurminen hangs tough and defends as the round ends. Nurminen’s round all the way, but his inexperience is showing as he had plenty of points where he had a tactical advantage and couldn’t capitalize. Round 1 to Nurminen.
ROUND 2 – After a little smile and cleavage, we get back to the battle of the bulge. Almost immediately, they go to clinch and Nurminen gets a hip roll. Lee continues to roll and throws Nurminen into the ropes. They get tangled up and restarted. Lee is getting off first and lands a decent right hand. Lots of plodding action. Nothing spectacular. One of the Vanilla twins takes these moments of tedium to talk about how much he loves a brawl like this. I love brawls too, but this ain’t one of them. More clinching. More waltzing. Good God, this has decision written all over it. As the tedium continues, Lon (and the turn card is… a FIVE) and the Twins talk about what great matchmaking there has been and what great condition these guys are in. I’m not sure if I’m watching the same thing they are. The matchmaking has been fair at best and these guys are in good shape for being ovoid. If you don’t have anything to say, then just be quiet, so I can listen to the Viennese waltz playing in the background. Lee falls down and Nurminen lands in guard. He easily passes into mount and throws a few punches. Nurminen looks very confused what to do in this position.
In what is the Unintentional Comedy Scale (credit to Bill Simmons of espn.com, check his material for further reference) moment of the night, the ref attempts to pull these two lugs away from the ropes while they are on the ground. Watch that hernia ref, and remember to lift with your legs. On the UCS, I’ll give it a 5. Lee squirms out of the position and assumes the aforementioned recliner position until they get stood up. Lee still looks a little better in the standup, although the clinching continues ad nauseam. Nurminen lands a good right hand that staggers Lee a bit, but can’t follow up. They lean near the ropes and Lee falls/collapses. Lon reads my mind and calls out “Timbeerrrr!” Good spot. Nurminen passes to mount where Lee proceeds to hang on like an infant baboon. The last 20 or 30 seconds of the round pass just like this with no punches or other aggression shown. Weird. I’m guessing Nurminen won this round too.
ROUND 3 – Lee comes out throwing punches and kicks like he knows he’s behind. This is good, because he easily is, and it’s making this fight a bit more interesting. Lee gains a front headlock and bulls Nurminen into a corner. While there, he pops Nurminen in the head with right knees. Nurminen, inexplicably, just lays there in the hold and eats knee after knee after knee. After about a minute and a half of this, Lee looks like he gasses a bit and the ref breaks the hold. Still though, Lee must have landed about 10-15 knees and Nurminen looks a little marked up. Back in the center of the ring, Lee has clearly found a second wind and is beating Nurminen to the punch. Nurminen seems unfazed and clinches after eating a punch or two. This sequence repeats itself for most of the round. Lee looks great in this round, but where’s he been for the other two rounds? Nurminen is very gassed and is getting beat up, but it’s probably too little, too late for Lee. The round ends and Nurminen is announced as the winner by unanimous decision. Good call. I had it 29-28 for Nurminen.
FINISH – Jarno Nurminen by Unanimous Decision
STAR RATING – (**) A little too slow and plodding for my taste. I would guess this is due to the relative inexperience of both of these fighters. I will have to check who Nurminen is fighting on the PPV, but if it’s anyone with any experience at all, it’s going to be ugly. Both of these guys have some work to do to get anywhere into the mix of quality heavyweights. Lee, apparently, followed up this loss with another decision loss to Roman Zentsov in M-1 MFC competition three months later. Not good. Let’s move along.
2 – ROY NELSON (7-0, 1 TKO, 4 sub) vs. JOSH CURRAN (3-1)
Curran is known as “Buffalohead”. Looking at his picture, it’s an apt description. The story is that he is looking for a successful career in MMA to get out of job as fry cook at Denny’s. This is actually on the BodogFight website. I am not making this up. Roy “Big Country” Nelson is very confident as he believes he’s one of the best in the world. This looks to be Curran’s willingness to standup against Nelson’s experience and confidence. We get a little blasé commentary from Lon and the Twins and we’re in the Ballroom. Curran walks to the ring at 266 pounds. He looks like a pear, but a big pear. A big buffaloheaded pear. What a great nickname. Nelson trots out next at 257 pounds and he looks somewhat like Curran, only not as paunchy. This looks like it might be good. Sort of like a Jackass episode where you know someone is going to get seriously messed up.
ROUND 1 – The bell rings and Curran comes out punching and, to my surprise, throws a knee! Yowza! A fight at last! Nelson looks to get in the clinch and avoid Curran’s fists. They clinch and Nelson battles for a takedown. Curran fights him off. Pretty good grappling battle and they get separated, where Curran lands a few more punches. Nelson gets a couple of shots in too, but he is clearly second best here and he knows it. Nelson sneaks into a clinch again and gets a nice throw takedown into Curran’s guard. Now, the tables have turned as Nelson quickly moves to side control and begins working on a Kimura (correctly identified by one of the Vanilla Twins, bully for you!) on Curran’s left arm. Nelson turns it over into a straight armbar and begins cranking away. Curran has some serious stones, as Nelson reverses back towards a Kimura. Good Lord, that has got to hurt. Curran somehow rolls out of the Kimura and gets back to his feet where he warms up his injured left arm by bashing Nelson in the head with it. Curran is throwing with both hands and Nelson is catching them with his face. Great comeback by Curran as the round comes to an end. Very tough round to score as both fighters scored at various points in the round. I gave it to Curran based on his striking and escapes from the ground, but it easily could be called the other way.
ROUND 2 - Curran comes out punching again. He gets turned around a little and Nelson gets a back body lock. Curran fights off the takedown attempt and whacks Nelson with a left hand. Curran connects again and out goes Nelson’s mouthpiece. The fight is stopped to retrieve it and both men look a little gassed. They restart and Nelson eats a few more punches, but manages a takedown into side control. Nelson gains mount and begins to work for an armbar. Nelson gets the armbar and somehow, Curran rolls over and gets on top. This looked like the fight was over. I mean, piss on the fire, send the dogs over. Just a sick escape by Curran, and how demoralized is Nelson? Nelson has been eating punches, but gets another advantageous position with a submission locked in and can’t finish off Curran. Curran stands up and Nelson begins to also. As he does this, he turns his back on Curran, and Curran drills him with a left hand. Nelson is rocked and he eats another one. The second one pushes Nelson underneath the bottom rope onto the ring fringe. The ref gets them back in the ring and Curran continues to connect. Nelson must be made of iron, because he is really getting rocked. Everything Curran is throwing is landing. Nelson gets a takedown late in the round and that’s how it ends. Huge round for Curran. The first round might have been close. This one wasn’t.
ROUND 3 – The fighters tap gloves and wearily circle. Curran picks up where he left off and continues to hit Nelson with everything but Calvin Ayre’s tank. Nelson continues to drive forward to get Curran to the mat. In an odd juxtaposition, both men are too gassed to implement their game plan, so they just alternate whaling away at each other. They clinch at one point and go tumbling through the ropes. That’s over 500 pounds coming at the press row. Scary! Another Curran left hand knocks out Nelson’s mouthpiece. The mouthpiece spends most of the round on the canvas. Nelson’s mouth is wide open and it’s not going to stay there anyway. Curran has his hands over his head trying to get every air cell in his lungs working every time the fighters are separated by more than six feet. These guys are just gassed. Curran continues to land everything in sight, but Nelson refuses to quit. The round comes to a close as Nelson gets a final takedown and neither man seems to be able to get up. I think Curran took this round also, and thus the fight. But, it was a fun fight to watch.
FINISH – Josh Curran by Unanimous Decision
STAR RATING – (***) Not a technical match by any stretch, but a FUN fight to watch. Very much a train wreck. Both fighters showed a ton of heart. Curran’s escapes were amazing to watch. Nelson’s resilience was equally amazing. Neither guy is likely to make the big time anywhere without a serious drop in weight, but it was still a good fight to watch. Lots of striking with impact. Some very nice submission attempts by Nelson and equally amazing escapes by Curran. Curran gets a piece of Nurminen in the PPV and I like his chances.
As always, I welcome commentary, criticism or information. My email is below. Feel free to send me your thoughts.
To email me, Jerry Cattelane, send to drscruf@hughes.net.
