Ah, another Tuesday night and an empty couch with a full cooler of brewskis. No work tomorrow. What could make it better? A full night of MMA on my TV. Sweet.

Mike Goldberg welcomes me with a two hour UFC Unleashed special on the only channel for men.

We start out with Melvin Guillard and Gabe Ruediger from UFC 63 (9/20/06).

Guillard comes out swinging away and dominates Gabe on the ground and on the feet with elbows and fists. Ruediger is persistent though and drags Guillard down and goes from side mount to mount to getting Melvin’s back in quick succession. Gabe attacks with strikes and attempts at RNC, but the bell saves Guillard.

Out we come for the second and Guillard pounds Ruediger right on the xiphoid process. Down he goes and that’s all she wrote. For those of you that don’t understand why this happened. Put your hand on your chest and shove down on your sternum until you get to the tip just above your belly. That tip is the xiphoid process. Now, shove on it really hard. Ouch, huh? Guillard by unusual KO at 1:01 into the second round.

Next, Jens Pulver and John Lewis from UFC 28 (11/17/00) at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, N.J. Lewis lofts a lazy jab out and “Little Evil” (what a GREAT nickname) comes over the top with a vicious left hand. Two or three minutes later, Lewis still isn’t sure where he is. Pulver fires up the crowd as Lewis attended to. Nice little reminder of what Pulver is all about before TUF 5 gets going. Granted, it’s over 6 years ago, but still… Pulver by KO at 0:15 of round 1.

From East Rutherford, New Jersey, comes Din Thomas and B.J. Penn from UFC 32 (6/29/01). This was Thomas’ first UFC battle. What a way to get it on. Thomas takes Penn down into guard. Penn defends well as we hear about Penn’s hype as we he was working with Frank Shamrock at the time. Penn goes for a nifty armbar, omoplata sort of move (hey, newbie here, plus the cooler is half gone…), but Thomas powers out and nails BJ twice with strikes. Penn rolls out and back to his feet. Thomas misses with a wild left and Penn drills him with a right knee. Thomas’ eyes are glazed as he goes down. Penn jumps to the attack and pounds Thomas out with strikes. 2:42 round 1.

To Las Vegas we go for Penn vs. Caol Uno. It’s UFC 34 (11/2/01). Uno comes out with a flying right head kick that misses. Then, Penn just attacks Uno and pounds him out. Right Jab. Left cross. And then, Penn feeding Uno right hands like free burger day at McDonald’s. One of the quickest and most vicious knockouts I have ever seen. Like when piranhas attack other fish. Woof. Nothing like pumping your coaches before TUF 5. Penn by KO in 0:15 of round 1.

From Staples Center in LA, Matt Hughes and Royce Gracie from UFC 60 (5/27/06). This was the headline on the card and we get the whole preflight hype from the pay-per-view, including the famous Gracie quotes. “This is my house. I build it.” And “I’m going to make him tap, help him up, send him home”. Heh. Great stuff. I remember seeing this as I was getting really into MMA and thinking, how the hell is Gracie going to win (not unlike how is Randy going to beat Timmah?). Let’s take a look. Hughes has his “who the hell do you think you are” look on his face. Classic, isn’t it? Nothing like how he looked against GSP, but that’s another story for another time. Inside leg kick from Royce. Keeps trying for it. Leg kick from Hughes. Lots of kicks as neither looks to go to the ground. Attempted Superman by Hughes and they clinch. Hughes gets a takedown and gains side control. Hughes with a couple elbows to body, but not much going on. Hughes gets a great armbar, but Royce hangs in. Hughes back to side control. Royce tries escaping but gives up his back. Gracie covers and Hughes starts dropping bombs. McCarthy steps in and it’s all over. Classic Hughes in that he got his opponent down and waited for his opponent to make a mistake or give up ground. As I watched this, I recalled his loss to GSP. The similarity I see is another passing of the torch in which Hughes’ GNP/LNP is giving way to the all around skill of GSP. Anyway, Hughes by TKO, 4:39 in round 1.

Andrei Arlovski vs. Tim Sylvia. Episode 1 comes to us from Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas during UFC 51 (2/5/05). Sylvia was recovering from a broken arm at the hands of Frank Mir. But, the fight was for an interim championship since Mir had sustained serious injuries from a motorcycle accident. You know, it’s weird watching this fight. Only two years ago and AA is somewhere on the road to come back. Sylvia is a discredited ex-champion. And Mir is recuperating from a loss to Brandon Vera wondering if he’ll ever get back to the championship level. I have to admit. I always was digging Arlovski’s fangs mouthpiece. That was pretty cool. Off we go! Huge right hand by Arlovski and down goes Sylvia! Geez, that sounds familiar. Arlovski pounces, but Timmah keeps him away. So, the Pit Bull grabs Sylvia’s right foot and begins cranking away. Timmy taps and Andrei’s the champion! Arlovski by submission at 0:47 of round 1.

Luigi Fioravanti vs. Dave Menne from Miramar Marine Base in San Diego. This is pretty recent stuff from UFC Fight Night Live 7 (12/13/06). Fioravanti is a former marine, so the crowd is way behind him. Menne looks like he’s in for it tonight. The fight starts and Fioravanti sends a big right hand directly down the middle. Yup, Menne’s in for a long night for sure. Menne goes for a single leg, but Fioravanti has none of it and they circle. Fioravanti lands more strikes and is clearly winning the battle on the feet. Rogan keeps critiquing Menne’s stand-up defense (and rightly so, he’s getting beat up). The crowd can smell what’s cooking as Luigi lights Dave up with some more punches. Down they go into Menne’s guard. Menne gets an armbar but Fioravanti gets out with a look of relief. Even more big shots from Fioravanti. Menne eats them and stays right in front of Luigi. Fioravanti makes him pay the price and drops Menne with a bunch of shots. On the ground, it doesn’t change as Fioravanti drops a ton of hammerfists before McCarthy stops it. LF by TKO at 4:44 of round 1.

Chuck Liddell vs. Renato “Babalu” Sobral from UFC 62 (8/20/06). A rematch from the classic head kick knockout by Liddell nearly four years prior. There were many that thought Sobral was winning the first fight before the epic knockout blow. This was the headline of the card and the hype is shown. I wonder how much Sobral’s stock has fallen given his upset loss to Jason Lambert. Anyway, here we go. Circling, circling, and then a flurry of punches by both guys. Not many connecting, but Sobral has Chuck backing up. But, you never chase a puncher and Chuck nails Babalu with a big right uppercut. And, it’s all downhill for Renato from there. Liddell is relentless and pounds away at Sobral until McCarthy stops the fight. Liddell by TKO at 1:35 of round 1. It’s odd. But when I watch Chuck fight, he reminds me of Fedor in that, neither of them looks that imposing, but if you make a mistake they are going to mess you up. I mean while Chuck is circling you can see a little roll. This is your light heavyweight champion? Then, he drops a bomb and the question is a moot point. I have to say. It’s fun watching him fight. I’d like to see Heath Herring cut some weight and go at it with Chuck. Wouldn’t that be great? Whaddaya mean, no? Who the hell are you?

And now, the finale. Matt Hughes vs. Georges St. Pierre. UFC 65 (11/18/06). The rematch that GSP begged for. And, frankly, many people after watching Hughes and his attitude on TUF 4 wanted to see GSP pull off the upset. But, at the time Hughes was considered unbeatable. This also was the headline of the card. GSP controls the center and both fighters circle. Hughes throws some strikes, but GSP has the early edge. St. Pierre throws a spinning back kick and it hurts Hughes. GSP landing a lot of kicks to the inner thigh when Hughes goes down from what might be a low blow. Couture calls it like it is. Shin on thigh. “His toes just grazed Hughes”. Then, Hughes goes down again. Couture calls it again. Shin on thigh. Toes graze the cup. Mike Goldberg (what a tool) wonders if GSP will go away from the kicks to the leg. So, GSP kicks Hughes in the head. No shoots from Hughes yet and we’re over three minutes in. Right hand and right knee by GSP and Hughes looks shaky. Leg kick by Matt. But it’s caught by GSP and he takes Hughes down. GSP passes to half guard and lands rights. As they come up, Rush nails a knee but Hughes is back up. Hughes FINALLY shoots, gets double underhooks, but GSP won’t go down and he smacks Hughes with a right hand on the break. Hughes gives GSP a smile, but it has an odd quality to it. As the round winds down, GSP nails Hughes with a Superman punch and Hughes wobbles to the ground. GSP is all over Hughes, but the bell sounds and Hughes staggers to his corner.

The second round starts and Hughes comes out with urgency. Another takedown attempt and it goes nowhere. Knockdown by GSP, but Hughes gets up quickly. A hard left by GSP snaps Hughes’ head back. More GSP strikes are getting through. Hughes shoots, but GSP meets him with a huge left head kick. Hughes goes down and GSP starts dropping the fists and elbows and, amazingly, it’s over. New champion. GSP drops to his knees in raw emotion. Wow. GSP by TKO at 1:25 of the second round.

That’s one thing I do like I about UFC. Two hours of good fights. A chance to catch up on older bouts for newbs like me. Very nice. Now a break and on to Bodog, episode 5. This is great!

Hey, we’re back in the USSR. Well, sort of. Let’s get it going.

Diego Gonzalez (7-3, 1 TKO, 4 sub) vs. Matt Thorpe (6-4, 5 sub)

ROUND 1 – Lon (and the river card is … A TWO!) McEachern is here with the vanilla twins, Jeff Osbourne and Paul Lazenby. The ballroom is set and off we go. Thorpe gets a couple of early jabs in and gets position in Gonzalez’s guard. Gonzalez looks very relaxed though and keeps Thorpe from doing any real damage. During the scuffle, Thorpe gets caught in a loose omoplata. He spins away and Gonzalez grabs an ankle looking for a heel hook. Thorpe rolls out of that too, but clearly, Gonzalez looks like the guy who wants to be on the ground. Thee fighters clinch and Gonzalez pushes Thorpe back to a corner. With about a minute left in the round, Gonzalez brings a right knee up and pops Thorpe right in the kisser. Thorpe is cut and clearly stunned. Gonzalez takes him down aggressively into guard and the round comes to a close. Not bad action. Gonzalez clearly won it down the stretch with that knee. Ouchie. Here’s one in the books for Diego, 10-9.

ROUND 2 – Thorpe comes out throwing punches again and Gonzalez clearly wants none of that, so back to the ground we go. There are lots of little punches and detritus from Gonzalez, but nothing that looks too damaging. In fact, there isn’t a whole lot going on . It’s not exactly lay and pray, but it’s close. I find myself thinking Gonzalez would probably do well in the UFC. Anyway, Thorpe reverses position and after what seems like a very short interval, the ref, to my surprise, stands them up. I find this odd, because we’ve been in guard the whole round. Thorpe gets into Gonzalez’s guard and up we come? Odd. Thorpe doesn’t seem to mind as he tosses off a couple of jabs. Gonzalez, on the other hand, scores an easy takedown and the round ends with Gonzalez in Thorpe’s guard. Meh. I’m sure Gonzalez gets this round, but the pace was poor and I didn’t think Gonzalez was that impressive once he scored the takedown. Grudgingly, Gonzalez gets another 10-9 round.

ROUND 3 – See round 2. A snoozefest that sees the ref stand the fighters up with Thorpe in guard and let them stay on the ground when Gonzalez is in guard. It really doesn’t matter, because every time, they stand up, Gonzalez takes it down. It may have not been lay and pray in round 2, but it’s definitely stalling in round 3. Thorpe has no answers for Gonzalez’s ground game and it shows. A blah end to a blah fight. If I ranked the four women’s fights last week to this one, this fight would be dead last.

FINISH – Gonzalez wins an uninspiring unanimous decision. Bleh.

STAR RATING – Ummmm. Give this (*+). Not quite an absolute dud, but 30 minutes of yawning in my opinion. The big knee from Gonzalez was worth a (+). I suppose I’m a little biased after watching two hours of UFC knockouts and showstoppers, but still a boring fight. Not surprisingly, the vanilla twins loved this fight and praise Gonzalez as though he is the next coming of Royce Gracie (well, not that much, but you get the idea).

It can only get better from here. Next up, we have Derrick Noble (19-8-1, 8 TKO, 7 sub) and Jamie Ellenberger (14-1, 9 TKO, 5 sub).

ROUND 1 – Noble is the aggressor early on. Ellenberger looks a little wrong-footed and Noble presses his advantage with some strikes and a takedown into guard. They roll and get back to their feet. Ellenberger clinches and lands some nice Muay Thai knees to Nobles mid-section. One, in particular, reverberates through the cavernous ballroom. That’s got to hurt. Noble throws Ellenberger down from the clinch and gets to mount. From mount, he rains down a few shots, although Ellenberger defends reasonably. As I write that, Ellenberger gives up his back and Noble drops a hammerfist or two and looks for the choke as the bell sounds. Nice pace to this fight after that last one. Noble carried the round, although Ellenberger landed some decent strikes, but it looked like a 10-9 round for Noble.

ROUND 2 – There’s a nice flurry of punches by both fighters to start the round. Ellenberger looks like he’s woken up. Noble gets hit with a front kick that slides a little low and there’s a break in the action. When we resume, they clinch and Ellenberger goes back to the knees last seen in round one. Ellenberger secures a takedown, but Noble defends and sweeps to Ellenberger’s guard. Ellenberger eats some hammerfists and again gives up his back to end the round. I thought it was Ellenberger’s round…, until the very end. I think Noble might have stolen it on the scorecards. Me, I’m a newbie dink and I think Ellenberger controlled most of the round, therefore, 10-9 for Ellenberger.

ROUND 3 – Noble must have heard it from his corner, because he starts round three on the offensive. A nice Superman punch connects, as does a right knee. Ellenberger answers with more knees from the clinch and retakes the offensive. Noble fights back and, at the very end of the fight, hops up and grabs Ellenberger in a guillotine that looks tight. The fight ends with Noble still holding the guillotine and Ellenberger whacking away at Noble’s flank to get free. It’s the third time in which Ellenberger has been on the defensive to end the round and I’ll bet it costs him the fight as round three was tough to score. On the whole, Noble looked like a much more polished fighter (he is), but Ellenberger clearly wasn’t far behind in terms of overall skill. Still, Noble was the better fighter and won the round (and thus the fight) on my card, 10-9.

FINISH – Noble wins by decision.

STAR RATING – (***) A much better fight than the first. A good amount of back and forth. Good striking. Good ground action. Some submission attempts. Some nice punches landed. Pretty competitive. Not enough to get in 3+ territory, but a pretty good fight. Based on what I see here, when Gonzalez hooks up with Noble, Gonzalez will be in for a long night.

So, there it is. A pretty darn good night of MMA. And, it was free too! How can you beat that?

For Notes from the Newb, I’m Jerry Cattelane, mmatorch.com’s first Prediction Champion.

You can contact me at drscruf@hughes.net